Missed Threesome

Craigslist's missed connections seemed like the right place to post the following actual occurance from my real life. I just posted the following ad:

Saturday night two lovely young ladies walked into the bar about an hour before close. One of them had been getting drunk to cure cancer…the other one was allegedly the designated driver (DD), but was really good at drinking. DD and I talked for a while and shot a game of pool. Cancer Drunk (CD) met a guy of whom she said “he’s kind of cute (KOC), right?”

DD enlisted me to help her prevent CD from hooking up with KOC. She pointed to me and said, “I’m walking to my house with this guy.” Then pointed to her friend and said, “Do you want to come with us?” Greatest night of my life, right? I can’t remember the last twosome I had, but somehow I was minutes away from a threesome with drunk, human women.

The events that followed are blurry, but somehow KOC and CD made a more convincing case than my drunk ass and DD got in KOC’s jeep, which, like most Jeeps, only seated three, according to KOC. As I watched them drive away I distinctly remember the maitre d’ calling, “Blueballs, party of one.”

As fate would have it, my blue balls and I were dining alone again tonight, when who should walk into the classiest barbeque restaurant in a gas station in town, but DD and HER PARENTS!!!! Here are the things I should have said to her…
“How’s tonight for ya?”
“I’m not making the same mistake I did Saturday night. I call dibs on the hot, older one…the GILF.”
“This is your second threesome this week…congrats!”

Instead, I did the classy thing…smiled in her direction and walked away...and then called her out on Craigslist. Second date?